"Yule" be sorry you read this...!

Faith
Miracle
Whisper
= = =

If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

"God" - Evan Almighty

My spiritual journey is still on its slow trek, moving forward, slowly. I am unable to meditate daily let alone twice a day; sometimes it's only during the Saturday sessions I assist at can I sit and just let go... or try to, anyway. Sometimes, I don't really get anywhere. Often, though, even with thoughts stubbornly going off on tangents in my head, I can feel myself going... deep. I feel energy vibrating on? in? my palms. One hand can usually feel a breeze at the top of my head; the other usually doesn't. I may have found myself in a state of thoughtless awareness occasionally, only to break it by thinking "Oh my, am I there?" LoL!

I did up the ante over the past year, though. From dipping my toes in the water, I suppose I'm now sitting with my legs over the edge of the pool, swishing my feet around in the water. From going week after week to a "beginner level" session, I have instead attended some collective events/ceremonies/rituals (things that I observe and raise an eyebrow at, because for something that's supposed to be beyond religion, it all seems extremely Hindu-based to me!) and have stepped up to assist with the beginner sessions, often times running the session with excellent feedback and compliments from the "veteran" practitioners.

I've been feeling restless lately, however. I wouldn't term it a crisis of faith; I think I just need to move on to a higher level of understanding, of experience. Instead of just observing, I need to question, to clarify, then mull over the answers, then ask some more, to understand.

But there's a lot of noise going on, lots of things going on behind the scenes that I won't get into. I don't think I'm asking for a miracle, yet I wonder if the prayer I whisper is being answered in ways I can't yet recognise, in ways I don't yet understand. You know, like what "God" says in Evan Almighty.

In the end, however, I believe that (God) helps those who help themselves.

So what can I do?
Nourish myself: mind, body and spirit.

Because all that noise? A lot of it involves things well beyond my control. I can worry about it, or I can move beyond it.

I choose beyond.

[sorry for the cryptic nature of this post... I hope you understand I don't want to go into nitty gritty detail of personal stuff... but I still want to let a little out... and no, it's not about my mother this time, LoL!]

p/s: MERRY CHRISTMAS to those who celebrate it. And HAPPY HANUKAH! Not forgetting KWANZAA! And all those other winter solstice festivals too. My wishes to all who celebrate them. Peace.